Strictly Ballroom (1992)

A life lived in fear is a life half lived

Though cheesy and cliché, Strictly Ballroom is a beautiful movie that captivated me.

For this post, I will talk about what I learned from this movie.

Communication is important

Dancing has always been a part of them

Time and time again we have seen how miscommunication or a lack of communication have caused a rife between romantic partners. Their conflict gets resolved only when they are forced to confront each other about the issue. This is no different for Doug and Shirley Hastings, former dance partners and a married couple that did not have a happy, healthy relationship. Doug is a meek, quiet man who did not have a say in any of Scott's dancing affairs while Shirley is always either yelling at Doug or speaking ill of him. It can be assumed that both Shirley and Doug's conflict started at the time of their dance championship. Personally, I feel that both Doug and Shirley had deep unresolved resentment and unhappy feelings towards each other because they both felt hurt that the other did not want to be their partner.

Their unhappy relationship also had an effect on Scott. It could be suggested that Scott always ignored his father's requests to speak with him because he had no respect towards his father, particularly because of the way his mother treated his father and how submissive his father is. Therefore, communication between two parties is always crucial, especially between romantic partners. Effective communication can increase and strengthen the level of trust, honesty and respect between partners in a relationship (Wiley, 2007). An honest and open communication could have prevented Scott and Fran from getting their feelings hurt. Though Doug and Shirley had their loving moments, but the love between them could be prominently seen after they were forced to talk about their dancing championship night and they could be seen dancing together, after years of not doing so.

Therefore, I learnt that communication is important because it can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Assumptions and miscommunication, as seen in the movie, can lead to a unhealthy relationship and may cause someone to hide deeper in their shell. Reality isn't like the movies, where a dance could heal deep wounds.

Child, my dreams are now yours

"I have my happy face today"
Shirley is upset with her son's actions

Shirley Hastings was living her unfulfilled dreams vicariously through her son, Scott. In the movie, Shirley does everything she can just to see her dream of seeing Scott win the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix Dancing Championship come true. While wailing in despair and sadness about Scott's unstrictly ballroom steps, she also placates the people in the Federation and Liz that Scott's unorthodox dancing days are over and done with. She also tries to find the perfect dance partner for Scott, by only accepting auditions from experienced and expert dancers. For example, she disapproves of Scott's partnership with Fran, a frumpy, beginner dancer and wishes for Scott to dance with Tina Sparkles instead.

Everyone, including Shirley wants the best dance partner for Scott

Therefore, Shirley wanted Scott to achieve and win what she couldn't, the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix Championship. Shirley's hopes and dreams for her son have been deeply ingrained into Scott, that he was willing to sacrifice his personal style of dance to fulfil his father's 'dreams' instead of his.

Hence, this taught me that everyone has their own unfulfilled dreams. However, as parents we should not project our dreams onto our children and live vicariously through them. Children too have their own hopes and dreams, and by restricting or preventing them from achieving their goals could lead to negative consequences. And the cycle would just repeat with every generation that is produced. So when will it ever end? Personally, I think it will only end when parents understand that not all of their dreams are able to come through. They should either learn to accept it and move it, or perhaps work towards those dreams even at an older age.




References
Wiley, Angela R. 2007. Connecting as a couple: Communication skills for healthy  relationships. The Forum for Family and Consumer Issues, 12(1). Retrieved from https://ncsu.edu/ffci/publications/2007/v12-n1-2007-spring/wiley/Wiley.pdf