Whale Rider (2002)

A movie that made me realised about the different cultures, heritages and beliefs still present in this world.

This post will reflect what I observed and reflected upon watching the movie.

Cognitive Dissonance

Koro giving Paikea bike rides.
He is fond of her.

This theory by Festinger (1957) explains that there are occasions where our actions are incongruent our beliefs and attitudes. In the movie, Koro shows dissonance towards his granddaughter, Paikea. When she was born, Koro disliked her as her twin brother, a potential leader died at birth, but she lived. Fast forward a decade, Koro and Paikea seems to have a good relationship. For example, he fetches her from school everyday and even lets her hold on to his rei puta during their journey back home; however, he still mistreats her by condemning her for her gender and blaming her for the conflicts happening within the tribe.

In accordance, Festinger (1957) explains that there are a few ways to resolve a dissonance, and one of the ways is to alter your actions. To resolve his dissonance, it can be perceived that Koro decided to open a cultural school for the village boys, and choose not to have Paikea as a student, stating that girls are not allowed to be leaders. Koro distanced himself and repressed his grandfatherly affections for her, instead, distancing himself and choosing to mistreat her instead.

Culture and Heritage Has Lost its Significance and Value

Culture, heritage and beliefs are important to the Maori people.

It's suggested that the 'modern' lifestyle seems to be more attractive compared to one filled with culture and heritage. In the movie, the audience rarely sees any youths in the Maori village, instead only young children and the elderly. With this, it is apparent on how the significant culture and heritage is to the older vs. the younger generation (youths). For example, to Koro, a leader can only be found via the cultural methods, where one of the ways is by recovering Koro's rei puta. However, for the younger generation, a hedonistic lifestyle filled with alcohol, drugs and parties are much better than ones where they have to learn how to lead and follow ancient cultures; cultures that sometimes do not hold any deep and significant meanings to them. Hence, it can be perceived that the youths have found that their life in the village is insignificant and boring.

Consequently, the only time the young children in the village learn how to use a taiaha is when Koro leads the cultural school to find a leader. This could be an indication that if a leader was not desperately needed by Koro, the young children in the village would not have the opportunity to learn to fight using a taiaha, to learn Maori chants and to learn the how to perform the Haka. Koro's action of leading and teaching the boys the cultural ways of their people could prove beneficial as this would ensure the lineage and heritage of the Maori tribe in the future.



References
Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Evanston, IL: Row & Peterson

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

A life lived in fear is a life half lived

Though cheesy and cliché, Strictly Ballroom is a beautiful movie that captivated me.

For this post, I will talk about what I learned from this movie.

Communication is important

Dancing has always been a part of them

Time and time again we have seen how miscommunication or a lack of communication have caused a rife between romantic partners. Their conflict gets resolved only when they are forced to confront each other about the issue. This is no different for Doug and Shirley Hastings, former dance partners and a married couple that did not have a happy, healthy relationship. Doug is a meek, quiet man who did not have a say in any of Scott's dancing affairs while Shirley is always either yelling at Doug or speaking ill of him. It can be assumed that both Shirley and Doug's conflict started at the time of their dance championship. Personally, I feel that both Doug and Shirley had deep unresolved resentment and unhappy feelings towards each other because they both felt hurt that the other did not want to be their partner.

Their unhappy relationship also had an effect on Scott. It could be suggested that Scott always ignored his father's requests to speak with him because he had no respect towards his father, particularly because of the way his mother treated his father and how submissive his father is. Therefore, communication between two parties is always crucial, especially between romantic partners. Effective communication can increase and strengthen the level of trust, honesty and respect between partners in a relationship (Wiley, 2007). An honest and open communication could have prevented Scott and Fran from getting their feelings hurt. Though Doug and Shirley had their loving moments, but the love between them could be prominently seen after they were forced to talk about their dancing championship night and they could be seen dancing together, after years of not doing so.

Therefore, I learnt that communication is important because it can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Assumptions and miscommunication, as seen in the movie, can lead to a unhealthy relationship and may cause someone to hide deeper in their shell. Reality isn't like the movies, where a dance could heal deep wounds.

Child, my dreams are now yours

"I have my happy face today"
Shirley is upset with her son's actions

Shirley Hastings was living her unfulfilled dreams vicariously through her son, Scott. In the movie, Shirley does everything she can just to see her dream of seeing Scott win the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix Dancing Championship come true. While wailing in despair and sadness about Scott's unstrictly ballroom steps, she also placates the people in the Federation and Liz that Scott's unorthodox dancing days are over and done with. She also tries to find the perfect dance partner for Scott, by only accepting auditions from experienced and expert dancers. For example, she disapproves of Scott's partnership with Fran, a frumpy, beginner dancer and wishes for Scott to dance with Tina Sparkles instead.

Everyone, including Shirley wants the best dance partner for Scott

Therefore, Shirley wanted Scott to achieve and win what she couldn't, the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix Championship. Shirley's hopes and dreams for her son have been deeply ingrained into Scott, that he was willing to sacrifice his personal style of dance to fulfil his father's 'dreams' instead of his.

Hence, this taught me that everyone has their own unfulfilled dreams. However, as parents we should not project our dreams onto our children and live vicariously through them. Children too have their own hopes and dreams, and by restricting or preventing them from achieving their goals could lead to negative consequences. And the cycle would just repeat with every generation that is produced. So when will it ever end? Personally, I think it will only end when parents understand that not all of their dreams are able to come through. They should either learn to accept it and move it, or perhaps work towards those dreams even at an older age.




References
Wiley, Angela R. 2007. Connecting as a couple: Communication skills for healthy  relationships. The Forum for Family and Consumer Issues, 12(1). Retrieved from https://ncsu.edu/ffci/publications/2007/v12-n1-2007-spring/wiley/Wiley.pdf

Eat Drink Man Woman (1994)

A simple movie that had so much. No actions and thriller scenes, just the day-to-day life of a family has made me realised that good movies do not require elaborate plots.

An Empty Home + A Stable Home = A Union

News that lead to chaos

The title signifies two different reasons for the union between Mr Chu and Jin-Rong. Mr Chu someone old, widowed and with children potentially leaving his home could be suffering from empty nest syndrome (Chen, Yang & Aagrad, 2012). Mr Chu  was starting to feel lonely and was sad, knowing that his children would be eventually leaving him. Hence, marrying someone much younger made sense. He found the perfect partner in Jin-Rong, both had love to give, she was still young and could bear him a child and she also had a daughter of her known. Hence, Mr Chu could watch them grow and cook for them to his hearts content.

After experiencing a messy divorce, it could be that Jin-Rong's only concern would be of Shan-Shan,. Her daughter needed a father-figure in her life, someone who could provide a stable home and resources. Hence, she found the ideal husband in Mr Chu. From an evolutionary perspective, younger women tend to see out older men for resources and for stability. Here, Jin-Rong married Mr Chu because he showed love in his own way, through cooking and that signified that a sense of stability and showed that he had something to offer that could be offered for both Jin-Rong and Shan-Shan.

Love Languages - People Show Love in Their Own Way 

Mr Chu

The dreaded Sunday dinner

The movie starts off with a scene of food being prepped and cooked. Mr Chu can be seen meticulously preparing dishes for his weekly Sunday dinner with his three daughters. Every week, an excessive amount of food is prepared, with most of the food untouched and being kep as leftovers. However, Mr Chu still willingly cooks the same amount every week. This is his way of showing love to his children, through the cooking of elaborate, delicious meals. I believe that one of the reasons mr Chu did not allow Jia-Chen to cook in his kitchen because if he had allow her to take over the cooking, he had no other way to show his love towards his daughters.

Mr Chu also willingly cooks for Shan-Shan everyday, even cooking orders for Shan-Shan's friends. Initially thought as a grandfatherly gesture, I realised that he saw her as one of his own, and did not think it as a chore to cook lunch for her everyday.

Furthermore, Mr Chu also shows his love towards his daughters by doing their laundry and waking them up every morning. How many Asian fathers out there would wash and fold their daughter's underwear? I believe that Mr Chu, a man of very few words, did love his children very much.

Jia-Jen

"I will take care of father"

Jia-Jen showed her love through her willingness to stay at home and take care of her father. She never explored love and intimacy after her 'nasty breakup' 9 years ago. I believe there is an undercurrent reasoning for this. She believed that if she opened her heart to someone, there would be no one to take care of her father. Therefore, she shied away from intimacy. She had resigned herself to the role of being the mother of the house, even dressing the part, being conservative and old-fashioned in her dressing.

Jia-Jen only kissed her colleague, the baskeball coach after her sister, Jia-Chen told her that she wanted a sister and not a mother. With this realisation, Jia-Jen changed her appearance from a spinster to a sensual woman, and got married.

Jia-Chien

Finally being able to cook for her father
"I can taste again!"

Jia-Chien showed her love through her sacrifices. Initially, she was all set to move to a new apartment and when that plan failed, she wanted to move to Amsterdam. After seeing her father going for a health check and realising that she could lose him at any moment, she rejected the offer of her promotion and decided to stay with Mr Chu to care for him. Hence, Jia-Chien was dejected when she found out that Mr Chu was marrying Jin-Rong, as she had willingly sacrifice her job for him. Only after ensuring that his wellness will be taken care of, only did Jia-Chien move to Amsterdam.

Furthermore, Jia-Chien also shows her care and love through cooking. She cooked for Raymond to share her exciting news with him and cooked for her father when he came to visit her. She cooked elaborate dishes, putting much thought and effort into the preparation of the dishes. At the end of the scene, when both Mr Chu and Jia-Chien addressed each other, it shows that both parties, although initially hostile towards each other, had grown to love and respect one another. Mr Chu recognised Jia-Chien's talent in cooking and acknowledged that her love had given him his sense of taste back.



References
Chen, D., Yang, X., & Aagard, S. D. (2012). The empty nest syndrome: Ways to enhance qualities of life. Educational Gerontology, 38, 520-529. doi:10.1080/03601277.2011.595285